The big depression
After leaving the hospital, I returned to my parent’s home for my recovery. The thing I enjoy most of all during those first weeks is…eating! After six weeks of crappy hospital food and losing a lot of weight my body was constantly craving anything that has calories and a decent home-cooked taste.
The nights are still tough. I am constantly uncomfortable. Besides the screws and pins in my leg, the rest of my body also feels extremely restricted. After being a lifetime prone-sleeper my only option now is to sleep on a strict straight position on my back (due to the external fixator). I can’t get used to it…I am constantly craving sleep but at the same time the leg pain and the awkward lying position I am restricted to prevents me from shutting my eyes long enough for Mr. Sandman to visit.
Any time I have to move, for example going to the kitchen to get a glass of water, I have to carefully walk on crutches – slower than a turtle. I also get dizzy most of the time I stand up so that adds extra difficulty to the task. I hate the fact that I need crutches for every little movement I have to do and wonder how handicapped people get through a whole life in this manner. My admiration for these people grows tremendously within a couple of days. People who spend a lifetime in wheelchairs and using crutches while maintaining a positive attitude deserve tremendous respect. They ground me and remind me that situations like mine are minor in comparison.
Still, I hated the condition I was in. For the next three months I didn’t leave home. I had no desire to see or socialize with people. I just stayed in my room most of the day watching TV shows. Thank goodness we live in a golden age of TV and I have plenty of shows to distract my attention.
However, you can’t watch TV shows all day on your laptop, you need a break at some point otherwise you get a headache. After those three months, I decide to start moving around a bit. A friend comes by and we go for a walk in the neighborhood. People stare at the metallic device screwed into my leg as if it is from outer space. Being an introverted person I hated the attention. I decide maybe it would be better to go out during the evening to attract less attention. The next day I had a routine check up with my doctor.
10 Best Form Of Exercise For Weight Loss Photo Gallery
After taking some x-rays of my leg, I am in the waiting room with another dozen fracture related patients. A lot of them also have fixators on their arms and legs, which makes me feel as if we all share a silent comradery. It had been quite awhile since I was surrounded by people without feeling as if I was from another planet. Other than that, it’s like any typical boring doctor visit. People in the waiting room looking indirectly at each other for what feels like forever. Others pretending to be reading something serious on their phone or flicking through some magazine pages. A couple of heavy sighs from patients who were in pain (some probably more dramatic and frequent than required). The buzz of the x-ray machine in the background and finally… hearing the receptionist call your name. I go in, say hello with a fake smile and give my doctor my x-rays. After looking at them with his team, he tells me, “we have progress.” The bone seems to be healing and considering my youthful age and healthy background I probably won’t have any problems with my recovery. After the appointment and for the next couple of weeks I gradually start feeling optimistic. Unfortunately this does not last that long.
A month later, and five months in total after my accident, the healing process has come to a halt. We schedule a new surgery. They have to install a different fixator in my leg and draw bone marrow from my pelvis and inject it in the fracture site. They explain this is a typical process performed to assist bone healing in extreme fractures like mine so I agree to go on with it. I thought I was done with surgeries so I wasn’t thrilled when I heard I had to have a new one.
Unfortunately, the new fixator installed in my leg is now even bigger and more uncomfortable. The following months I suffer from extremely painful pin infections caused by this new fixator and I’m on and off heavy antibiotics and pain-killers all the time. Days, weeks and months keep on passing by. Winter, spring, summer…trees grow green leaves, the leaves die again and I’m just waiting in my dark room, which is on the last floor/attic of my parental home. Curtains closed, depressed and not in the mood for company. The leg continues to show no progress at all.
Maybe You Like Them Too
- Unique Wedding Ideas
- Our Fantasy Fairytale
- Halfpenny London Bridal Dresses 2020
- THOSE BROWS! THAT HAIR! THOSE LIPS! THAT SKIN!
- The go-to For Mothers-of-The Bride Seeking Style and Comfort