â€œA leap in spiritual growth happens when you realize, You donâ€™t have a soul; you are a soul. â€
We have used the term â€œhealthy selfâ€ with clients, and in this secrets, to help distinguish the difference between your eating disorder and the healthy voice you also have inside. The term soul self is our attempt to describe your inner being, beyond your ego and even beyond your healthy self. It is a state of awareness or consciousness that is both independently yours and yet connected to the source of consciousness, the part that witnesses the coming and going of thoughts, feelings, identities, and experiences without judgment, knowing none of them are you because you are the witnessing presence of it all.
â€œThere is nothing more important to true growth than realizing you are not the voice of the mind you are the one who hears it. If you donâ€™t understand this, you will try to figure out which of the many things the voice says is really you.
People go through so many changes in the nature of â€˜trying to find myself. â€™ They want to discover which of these voices, which of these aspects of their personality, is who they really are. The answer is simple: none of them. â€
The term soul self is the closest we could get to describe your conscious awareness, but it is not the exact same thing. Your soul self is the way you manifest your connection to this deeper source of awareness or consciousness in the world. Your ego is the way you manifest your identity, wants, and desires.
When you are connected to your soul self, you can witness all the concerns of your ego passing before you, like waves coming and going in the ocean. You can witness them and let them return to the sea. From this place, you are more interested in your awareness of your thoughts than in the thoughts themselves. From this place, you donâ€™t have to act on the thoughts or the feelings; you can acknowledge them, but you do not have to react. (Tip: Remember the lessons from Key 4.) In this state there is no place for an eating disorder to gain footing. There is no need to binge, starve, vomit, or reach a number on a scale. These things have no meaning or significance for your soul self and are matters that your ego takes up.
Quotes from clients on discovering their soul selves
â€œTaking the time to connect with my soul self made me realize that it was only my ego that was concerned with numbers and scales and fat grams. Sitting quietly for a few minutes day after day, I was slowly able to sense a different part of me that felt no pull toward those things. I realized I was not my thoughts, I was the one who could watch them come and go, just like a bouncing ball or characters in a movie. I was surprised that sitting with my eyes closed, and paying attention to my breath for a few minutes every day, connected me to a deeper part of me, my soul. Once I had that connection lots of other things I used to get caught up in began to take on less and less meaning and importance and eventually my whole view of things and thus my behaviors toward them changed.
â€œI used to think I had no soul. I was not a religious person and could not imagine what else having a soul meant but to accept religion and believe in something no one could prove was true. However, when I stepped back enough times and mindfully separated myself from my thoughts, my soul simply came through. I can now recognize my thoughts and my emotions as stories from my ego. I can watch them come up and let them go and not get pulled into or react to them. â€