Similar to an Eater’s Agreement, we sometimes have our clients write a mindfulness agreement. This can serve as a reminder for what they want to be paying attention to. Read this one from one of our clients, and perhaps at some point you might find it useful to write one for yourself.
In my Eating Disorder Self, I could have never imagined that I would have the ability to be mindful. I was so wrapped up in my food, exercise, and rigid daily life that there was no room for all that encompasses mindfulness: openness, acceptance, nonjudgment, and being present.
I now realize I always have a choice a choice of how I will respond to my circumstances in any moment, if I can stay present enough to be aware of them.
From this day forward, I choose to make the effort to be mindful in all aspects of my life.
I will no longer spend my days on autopilot. I agree from this day forward to be accepting of
the present, be open, aware, and willing to stay in the now.
I know I may get caught up in the everyday life of my everyday life, and when this happens I promise myself that I will be awake enough to recognize this, stop, and find my true self again, take a breath, and start to feel again. Feel my breath enter then leave my body in the way it wants to in that moment, and then take deeper ones to bring me back.
I will be mindful of the things around me that really matter, love, air, water, breath, where I am in the world at that moment, andfeel my feet on the ground again.
I will be open to feel what I’m feeling without judgment or criticism, reassure myself and keep going, or stop if I need to. It’s all what my mind makes of it. I choose to no longer search for ways to be miserable. I deserve to be happy, and my soul desires happiness.
TELL THE TRUTH WITHOUT JUDGMENT
The skills learned by practicing the first two principles, showing up and paying attention will help you with the third, truth without judgment. It is an important concept we follow in our own lives and teach to our clients. Telling the truth without judgment is easy to do when you are happy with things. It is difficult to do when someone hurts or upsets you or you are angry.
Telling the truth without judgment means being honest without being negative, critical, or blaming. Learning how to do this will make your message much more likely to be received. In order to tell the truth without judgment, you need to calm and neutralize any anger or negativity you have before you attempt to communicate. It’s not just the words you use that communicate but your nonverbal messages as well. It is crucial to do what it takes to get your body calm and back to neutral. You might simply need to take some time to calm down, you might do breathing exercises, or you could meditate. The key is not to let your hurting ego run the show, because telling the truth without judgment means you speak from your soul self, the calm inner wise core we have been talking about.