Instead of choosing to show a crepey cleavage, find a dress with a high slash neck that has a low sweep or V-neck at the back. Skin on the back has usually had far less exposure than that on the front and doesn’t age nearly as much.

If your derriere is on the large size, stay clear of flouncy fashion statements like the puffball or tulip skirt, which both have too much volume. Buy an A-line skirt, which is the most flattering shape to cover up your figure flaw.


When I was a senior in high school I had something to look forward to. When I was a senior in college, I had a career to look forward to. As a senior in life, I have only eternal oblivion to look forward to. So, let is look for something with a more encouraging and positive connotation. I have always thought second childhood would work a little better. With apologies to Sir Isaac Newton, I hate gravity. He didn’t invent it. But he put it on the map. Galileo and Albert Einstein also played roles, but as sure as an apple will fall down, not up, it is Newton who gets the starring role in my gravity movie (not the one starring Sandra Bullock and George Clooney, each of whom is approaching an age in which gravity will play a starring role in their lives). What is gravity? It is called the weakest of the fundamental actions of nature. do not ask me what the others are. It might make me more depressed than I already am Back to Newton. Here is how Wikipedia explains it. In 1687, English mathematician Sir Isaac Newton published Principia, which hypothesizes the inverse-square law of universal gravitation. In his own words, I deduced that the forces which keep the planets in their orbs must [be] reciprocally as the squares of their distances from the centers about which they revolve: and thereby compared the force requisite to keep the Moon in her Orb with the force of gravity at the surface of the Earth; and found them answer pretty nearly. Got it? Yeah, me, too. Forget the talk of orbs and inverse square laws. I am talking boobs and chins and jowls, and those muffin tops that peek . or sometimes explode exponentially over the beltline. Of course, I must not forget to mention that part of the upper arm that gets increasingly flabby each time the earth circles the sun.

Leave a Reply

34 − = 31