Naughtiness for child
It is easy to label a child’s behaviour naughty’ but when it’s examined objectively you will usually find that naughtiness’ does not come into it at all. A child who is bored, frustrated, neglected, jealous, tired or hungry will often resort to naughty’ behaviour to draw attention to her problem. A one year old who is doing what comes naturally and touching and exploring everything she can is not naughty’. The child who wets her bed is not naughty’. If you remind yourself to always think of naughtiness as only a symptom you will soon find that you can usually eradicate the cause of the unacceptable behaviour. In an older child it may take time to undo long-standing behaviour patterns, but if you work at it consistently it can be done. Meanwhile you will have to cope with the symptoms.
It is no good feeling guilty and thinking that your child’s annoying behaviour is a result of your failings. Everyone makes mistakes and the one big difference between mothers and other executives who have demanding jobs is that mothers feel terribly guilty about their mistakes. You must learn to forgive your own failings and take it from there. Children bounce back intact if you don’t keep piling the burden of your guilt on them.
Even if you do realise that there is an underlying reason, you must make it clear that the unacceptable behaviour cannot be tolerated. Understanding the reasons for behaviour does not mean condoning it.