Our First Kiss Stories

Today we are doing a Storytime post. Sorry I forgot to say it at the same time as you. Storytime. Storytime post. Hey guys! It’s Linda Fink. I’m Michael Brown. Today we’re doing Storytime.

Alright, we’re back. We have crowd sourced a whole bunch of Storytime ideas, put them in this vase. We’re going to pick them out and tell stories to each other. Okay. First kiss. Alright I do not want to go first on this one because my first kiss was pretty embarrassing. I think we should play a game to decide. Okay, what game? I want to have a staring contest. Comment below if Linda cheats. Comment below if Michael cheats! Do you always kiss your pinky promises? I don’t know! One, two, three. Oh no I really want to blink already. Oh, I just blinked! Yeah! Boom! So this isn’t my first kiss but it does involve a first kiss. Kind of. Okay. I don’t know where this is going. I had just met this guy.

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We set up a date, we go to a bar nearby. I look up and it’s this woman Nicole, she’s asking the most crazy personal questions but she’s very, very drunk. Do we work out? What are our hopes and dreams? What’s the five best qualities from each other? Do you want me to play the part? Hi. I’m the woman. Oh hi! I’m Michael. Um..So maybe you didn’t need to do this. Okay I’m gonna go back to my seat. And then she goes, “How you guys know each other? And I go, “We’re on a date.” She goes, “Oh, how long have you been dating?” I said, “Five minutes.” She touches my arm and she goes, “I would love for you to go talk to my daughter.” What? Her five year old daughter Sienna… Five? Is in this bar. She grabs me. I was like looking at my date for help and he was like, “I don’t know what to do.” So I go over to this table with this drunk woman Tonya, the drunk husband Solomon, her five year old daughter who is bawling.

Are you using real names right now? I feel so bad for this family that’s being exposed. You know what this kid does? This five year old child? She crawls into my lap. She kisses me on the cheek. Oh! So like, I find my way out of that. Was the mom trying to set you up with Sienna? I don’t know! I think she was looking for someone to babysit her kid! Her and my date are hitting it off so well. Is your date not gay? He is gay! I make eye contact with him. I guess he could go both ways. I don’t..Well, that was a conversation we never had. I look over at him. He just shrugs. I go back to him and guess what? I left that date with only a kiss from a five year old! Ohhh! So how was that? That was fine. I think it was a good story but I think that first kiss should be about your actual first time kissing another person on the lips. Whatever. This isn’t a competition.

Comment below, let us know who wins. No! Don’t make this a competition because she’ll always win. Okay. First kiss. I was in seventh grade. Just a little funny caveat to the story. Four or five of my best friends all had our first kiss with the same guy in middle school. He just got all the girls, what can I say? Some people are like that. One of the girls in the line up before me was my twin sister. And if you read a previous post, her sister also peed on her. It was a jellyfish sting. My sister was seeing this guy and I was like, “Oh my god Allie, I like him.” She was like, “You can have him.” What?! I was like, “Great!” I was so excited. We started IMing. There was a party coming up that weekend and we said, “Let’s kiss at the party.

Wait, wait, wait. You planned your first kiss? I was so nervous. We go to the party. Go behind this kind of like ledge and squat down. You had a squatting kiss? Are you reenacting? We always reenact. This is Storytime! I was like this in a dress. And I was like, “I just have to say, I’m so nervous. This is it Linda, you’re about to become a woman. This story’s bringing back memories! I’m like..getting nervous. He leans in. Wait for it. I know what happens! I peed in my pants. Ahhh! That’s not what I thought! Caveat, once again. It was not a flow.

It was two drops. A dribble. So I looked him in the eyes and I said, “I just peed in my pants.” And he was like, “Don’t sweat it, it’s cool.” The reason that it gets even more embarrassing is that this guy told the whole grade that I peed in my pants and I was just like, “I’m gonna go home now.” Pee Pee Fink. – Linda Pee Fink – Linda P. Fink. So what do you think of my story? I loved your story. It was very enthralling. Same and I loved that you used real names. It really brought me to the bar. Hey guys, it wasn’t a real name. Don’t listen to her. If I learned anything about Michael today, he doesn’t tell the stories that he’s supposed to tell but tells the most recent version. What I learned from Linda’s story is that she has very poor bladder control.

Bring it in. Off brand. Ow! On brand. Why don’t you tell them what you thought I was going to say? I thought Linda was gonna fart. Because I was squatting? Yeah! Just a little phew! Alright, well, thank you so much for reading our Storytime post. Please comment below letting us know what you want us to see us tell stories of next time and we’ll put it in our jar. Also, comment below your first kiss stories because we want to hear it and maybe we’ll feature you in a future post of Storytime! And click on comment button to comment to this blog And click on comment button to read more posts.

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