Playing with other children for child

Playing with other children for child 5

The child under two will play alongside another child, but there is unlikely to be any interaction between them, until the one grabs whatever the other is playing with! The victim’s response will either be a long silence followed by loud wailing or an attempt to grab it back. The mother will probably react by taking the toy away from the grabber and smacking her, so she will start crying too. Looked at dispassionately, it is a rather comic scene but without any positive

results. The first child was only doing what comes naturally; so was the second. It takes time for the social graces like sharing to develop. The mother is also reacting instinctively by smacking the child, but she should know better. It would have been better to have prevented the conflict by diverting or separating them as soon as the one started grabbing. Smacking a child as a punishment for smacking is not going to teach her to stop using violence as a means to an end. It is only going to teach her that if she smacks she will get smacked and that aggression is used by adults as well as children to solve their problems. You will also have to smack extremely hard for it to act as a deterrent and then you will be making fear your means of discipline.

She will soon be too big to spank and when you are not there she will relish getting away with it’ so you will not have achieved anything. She will learn to respect the rights of others as she grows older and is able to put herself in their place. This kind of abstract thought develops slowly and is not usual until the end of the third year or later. In the same way, she is unable to perceive that when someone hurts her accidentally it was not deliberate, and that they did not mean to do it. When this kind of situation arises talk to her about it, explaining how people feel when their rights are infringed. Children love being talked to like grown-ups, especially when there is no heat in the situation.

Point out how people give up their seats for others in the bus, how nice it is when another child shares her toys or sweets. She may not be able to bring herself to do it yet, but she will be getting the message. You have got to point out the implications of a situation to a child. You cannot wait for her to discover them all by herself, because it could take a lifetime.

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