While Doug’s story illustrates one pattern of Self issues and goals, many different types exist. To help you become familiar with the range of issues in this sphere and the ones you can start addressing on your own, here are four examples:
1. Arrogance that alienates everyone, that prevents relationships from being formed, or that weakens existing relationships; a belief in one’s superiority that may drive you to success in the Work sphere but creates havoc in your personal life; the need to manage this arrogant quality and turn it into quiet confidence or humility.
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2. Anxiety that makes you awkward or anxious in social situations; you may have trouble speaking or being with someone who is of romantic interest or maintaining an equal relationship with work colleagues or friends; whatever the root of this anxiety (it often goes back to childhood or has a genetic component), you need to learn to manage your anxiety, respect yourself, and be proud of who you are.
3. Shyness that causes you to withdraw from people in all life arenas and prevents you from sharing who you are with others; shyness can be debilitating and lead to terrible loneliness; the goal here is to understand the cause of this shyness and create a plan that helps you take small steps in the direction of being more open with and connected to others.
4. Anger that is off-putting to everyone, from friends to your children; people with bad tempers can say and do things that they (and others) regret the rest of their lives; managing anger is possible, but it takes real commitment and persistence; you need to identify the common triggers for your temper and design a plan that makes sure you don’t set them off or that you know how to respond calmly to them.