Make your bathtime work for you by adding 450 kg (1 lb) of Epsom bath salts to the water. Epsom salts are made from the mineral magnesium sulfate, which draws toxins from the body, sedates the nervous system and relaxes tired muscles.


I was sick in the toilets. I flushed out my mouth afterwards with Double Diamond and had a cigarette. My charm, feeble as it was, deserted me entirely, and I struggled to hold my own in conversation. Girls danced with me because John and I always interrupted a pair dancing on the floor, so one had to be with me. Towards the end of the evening, I fell over a handbag the girls were dancing around, scattering the contents. I thought it was hilarious; no one else did. I finished the night slumped on a stool by one of the tall tables near the edge of the dance floor. I was broke by then, so I lifted a pint of Double D from a group of lads at a crowded table but no one seemed to mind; they even cheered at me. John was drunk too, which took the edge off his charm with the girls, but he ploughed on by himself, undaunted by failure. I watched him, marvelling at his persistence.

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