Hey ! What’s up? I’m Michael Brown. And I’m Linda Fink.
I’m Michael Brown. I’m Linda Fink. We look like siblings, don’t we? Put your arm around me. Wait, what? And we have a special day for you because it’s… Storytime! So I asked my Instagram to send me a whole bunch of questions and stories. Things like, “What’s your most embarrassing life moment?” Then we put a bunch of them in this little vase. Oh no. Craziest vacation stories. Okay. Oh damn. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Ohh! It’s two out of three, right? Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. So I won? So I have to go first. Okay. This all starts in a land far away called Mexico. It was hurricane season. We were told, “Don’t go in the ocean.
These Hysterical Family Vacation Stories Will Have You Cracking Up Storytime Photo Gallery
” But we went in the ocean. Have you ever been in a laundromat? I got laundried in a wave. Spinning, spinning. Cannot tell which ways up and which ways down. I start swimming down, thinking I’m swimming up. I’m swimming to like 10 feet in the bottom of the ocean. Are your eyes open? Closed. Okay. It was salt water! Open them in life or death! You open your eyes in the salt? Just a tip for next time, if you’re gonna die, open your eyes. Hands hit the bottom. I’m like, “Oops, went the wrong way.” U-turned, came back up, crawl onto shore like a spider. And I’m like, “Oh my god, I’m alive.” Look down, there is a giant blue jellyfish on my stomach. What?? Electric blue like lightning in a bottle. I go, “Yahh!” Flies off.
Next thing you know, bzzzz, it’s on my arm. Same one? Yeah! Same one. I smacked it, it flew, must have like suctioned cupped back. Landed on my arm. I have two jellyfish stings and then I finally get it off and this is the part of the story that I think you’ll want to hear. My twin sister peed on me and it really helped. That’s really good. Do you like it? Can you react a little more aggressively that this story is good? I thought that was a good story! I guess I’m still processing that your sister peed on you. She was like this and my mom was like, “Here, pee into my hand.” She’s like scooping it into me and it was like, “Psss.” Allie was like.. And I just said, “You’re such a good sister.” Time for your story. Okay. I guess mine isn’t as disgusting.
It was a Christmas vacation but we decided, let’s rent a house and go to Florida. Me, my cousins, my sisters, my mom, my grandma. We all went down. I somehow lucked out in getting my own room. Seems normal enough so far. Is this a ghost story? Okay. Shit. Continue. So I’m laying in bed, hanging out on my phone, whatever, and I hear this blood curdling scream. AHHH!!!! It was kind of like that. In my mind, it was more like “AHHHHHH!” Is that closer to it? You know what, the note, yes, I feel like it really… Immediately, I’m under the covers. I’m like, “No.” Because like covers… NO! I text my mom, “Are you up?” And I didn’t hear back. It should be fine, I’m gonna try to go to sleep. Five minutes later I hear another extremely terrifying scream. It’s coming from upstairs.
It was my cousin. He’s just screaming is head off. And I’m like, “Wait, what do I do?” This story is more exposing me as a bad person because what I did is I did nothing. Stayed in bed. I was like, “Do I want to live? Or do I want to die?” Listen, I can’t even tell you what I would choose in that situation. It’s easy to be like, “Oh you gotta go save your cousin,” but when it’s a matter of life and death… What are you gonna do? I waited until morning. Until morning?? You… I know. Asshole! The next morning we’re all having breakfast and I turn to Derek. I go, “Derek, I heard you screaming at the top of your lungs.” He goes, “No I didn’t.” I was like, “Mickey, did you hear him?” Mickey’s my other cousin. He goes, “Nope.” Nobody else in the house heard him screaming but I did. I swear it was him. But maybe you were the only one who was up and he was sleep screaming. But he was sharing a room with my other cousin.
That is what scared me. So either I’m crazy, or it was just a ghost. Final takeaways. Michael is crazy and doesn’t help people in need. I would say Linda’s family is a little too close. I really liked your story. You didn’t act like it, to be honest. I really did like it. Hey ! Thanks for reading our craziest vacation stories. Please comment below letting us know what stories you want us to tell and we’ll put them in the jar for next time. Also comment your craziest vacation stories below and maybe we’ll read them aloud in a future post. And don’t forget. click on comment button to comment and here to read another post. Bye! Bye.
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