What are the effects of babysex pregnancy?
of women in a survey of 500 attending my clinic felt their sex life had been affected by trying to conceive. A few felt this was affected positively (more sex), but the vast majority felt their sex life had been negatively affected.
what causes a lack of desire pregnancy?
Ironically, the time when you should be having sex the most – when you are trying for a baby – is often the time when one or both partners begin to experience a lack of libido and your sex life starts to be affected. Indeed, many couples use the I’m too tired for sex excuse, when in fact they are frightened of failure or feeling depressed. Human sexuality is very complex and, in order to feel aroused, you need certain key factors to be in place. You might love and trust your partner, but you may feel a host of other negative emotions that counteract these feelings and lead to you feeling less desire than before.
Negative emotions might include:
Anxiety If you are a man, you might worry that you are not able to perform on demand, or you might not be as keen as your partner to have a baby but have not been able to tell her. If you are a woman, you might be anxious about why you are still not pregnant and whether you are even able to conceive.
Grief You might have had a miscarriage in the past or you might be mourning the fact that you may not be able to conceive without fertility treatment.
Stress You might be feeling under pressure to have sex and to get pregnant (see Steps 5 and 7 for more on stress and the mind-body link).
These and other emotions can easily get in the way of any desire to have sex – or at least the sort of sex you used to enjoy with your partner, when you simply had it because you felt like it. In addition, these emotional issues can contribute to physical problems (see pages 72-73), which in turn result in a reduced desire for sex.
steps to recovery
Identify why you think your libido has gone down since you started trying for a baby.
Discuss your conclusions openly and honestly with your partner.
Make time to be together. Share your hopes as well as your fears and disappointments with each other.
Richard and Julia had been trying to get pregnant for one year. As the pressure built up, other aspects of their relationship began to fall apart.
Richard It took me a bit longer than Julia to decide that I was ready to have a baby. Although I am 34,
I still enjoyed nights out with my friends and was worried about how a baby would impact on our lives.
Within a few months of deciding to start trying the fun and intimacy in our sex life vanished. I started to dread ovulation time as Julia kept a constant dialogue going, describing every intimate detail of what was happening in her body, which quite frankly was a real turn-off. Sex was dictated by Julia depending on her ovulation time and I found it harder and harder to perform to order. When she started : getting annoyed about me going out with friends and enjoying a few drinks I began to feel resentful at her expectation that I should give up my social life.
I also came to dread going home around the time her period was due. She would dissolve into tears and depression each month when it started. I didn’t dare to tell her when someone at work announced that their partner was pregnant!
Julia felt that I didn’t understand and that I didn’t want a baby as much as her. It reached the point where the need to conceive was starting to take over the whole of our relationship. At this time we decided we needed help and went to see Zita for some advice on how to rescue our relationship as well as on fertility issues.
After coming to see me, Richard and Julia began to recognize that they need to be more communicative in order to avoid building up unspoken resentment and anger.
What are the effects of “baby”sex pregnancy? Photo Gallery
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